December 13, 2006

Hey,
I had my first big neuroscience test and have been unwinding since the test this past monday. I picked up a book yesterday called "For One More Day" by the same author that wrote "Tuesdays with Morrie." Pretty depressing book but as one of my friends, prerana, pointed out, I could extrapolate a happy, not so depressing meaning out of the book. It was pretty well written and I highly recommend it to anyone who has lost a loved one. Its about getting a chance to meet your loved one for one more day, in addition to having other meanings and messages.
The holidays are coming up and although last year was the official end of my family celebrating christmas, it's still a time that the three of us spent together. A few years ago, my dad was recovering from some health issues and I postponed a trip to see my aunt,uncle, and grandmother till after christmas so that I could be with him for Christmas. A few christmas's ago was pretty special as I hadn't spent an extended period of time with my mom during the entire year of 2004 except for that break. It was always nice to go home for winter break as the last few weeks of the semester were always so hectic with exams; it was usually the anticipation of going home and getting some great home cooked meals, family time and friend time that got me through those horrendous exam weeks. This Christmas, for obvious reasons, is pretty bitter sweet. I was just on the phone with my father and we were making plans for winter break; I just can't seem to decide what I want to do. I know my mom would want us to spend some time at home and I want to be at home because it the place tht I feel closest to her, amongst her belongings and her love. So I think my dad and I will take short trip here or there but spend most of Christmas at home. We have some close family friends visiting us in the middle of break which will be quite nice.
The past couple of weeks have been hectic. I've been working real hard for that exam and things didn't go off as well as planned. But thats the story of medical school. Its been 9 months and a few days since my mom passed away and for many, it may seem like "last year" or a real long time ago. At times for me though, it's like yesterday. I've moved on a lot, life has to go on she would've said and it has in many respects. I keep myself occupied with school and dad keeps himself busy with his activities but every so often, it catches up with me. I'm so grateful for friends and family that I have. The cheerleaders that keep chearing me on from every part of my life and I know deep down that the main cheerleader is cheering me on too, from up above..but sometimes all that just seems like words, words to comfort myself and to comfort others.