a story

Hi everyone,
A few days ago I sent out an e-mail to some family and friends to propose a project for them this summer. I propose that people take a few minutes this summer to write a story about a time they spent with my mother. I'm sure many of you have so many good stories of times you've spent with mom: funny, serious, but I bet most of them have something funny and positive associated with the annecdote. So, Send your stories to me at indimasti22@yahoo.com!! I'll compile them and put them on the web or something.
Heres a story to start out. Tonight (April 25th, 2006), as I was walking barefood from my neighbors apartment back to my apartment I steped on a tiny tiny piece of glass. I could barely feel it initially but after a few seconds I felt a little prick with every step. I hopped through my living room and sat on my bed. I was like "shoot. now what". I pinched the heal of my foot and a tried to focus on the miniscule piece of glass. I couldn't see it but I could feel it. The first thought that popped in my head was call mom and figure out what to do. Then I was like..what would mom do in this situation. I reached for the needle and then suddenly I also realized that I had a little magnifying glass that mom had given me a few months ago. After messing around for a few minutes, I used both instruments to take the little piece of glass out successfully. As I was putting the magnifying glass away I remembered why my mother had insisted that I take the little device to school. In hindu custom, your head is supposed to face a particular direction when sleeping on a bed. I don't exactly remember which direction but at the beginning of the school year mom insisted that I take this little toy that had a magifying class, binoculars and a compass all in it to school and figure out whether or not I was sleeping in the right direction. Most of my furniture is quite bulky and hard to shift around so I wasn't going to mess with moving furniture around and doing stuff if I found out that I wasn't sleeping in the right direction. For a while I never looked and mom asked me each day whether I had used the compass and figured out if I was sleeping in the right direction. I don't actually remember whether I looked and she stopped asking or she gave up on me. But one of the two happened and she stopped questioning what direction I was sleeping in. I think she made sure I was doing it right when she visited for the first and last time earlier this semester. At any rate, the toy she insisted I take to school was quite handy today. :o) Hope the story makes you guys smile.

April 20th

Hi Everyone,

This time last month I was spending the day unpacking from a trip and talking to my mom. We were laughing and joking about the difficulties we would be facing in the coming days. It was a very peaceful day. Thankfully, I have a short 5 minute clip of that day on video which I will definetly try to share with everyone. It's been 14 days since I last talked to my mom and 19 days since she talked to me. I have my mom's strength to face all this with a smiling face. Some days are harder than others but that's how life goes. We had a beautiful set of bhajans last Friday. A few close friends came to the house and sang with much devotion. Yesterday, the 19th of April we had a pooja at the house for mom's "termu" (13th day) as it is called. It was a very nice pooja with close family from out of town and a few close friends. At night we had bhajans at the temple. I sang a bhajan and ofcourse had to mess up for my mother. Mom and Dad used to always get on my case to make me sing at the temple when I was younger. I dislike singing in big crowds and haven't practiced in a long time. So yesterdays program went well and dad and I are staying in good spirits. I'll update this blog with news about Dad and I occassionally. We're hanging in there and laughing and smiling as my mother would want us to do.

April 9th, 2006

Dear dear friends and family. The blog post from Friday/Saturday was written by my best friends Hajra and Kinjal. The past few days have been very hard for my father and I but we have been able to feel the strength and love mom left us with. Her funeral was held today. Mom looked like she was at peace and resting. I performed the last rites. Dad, myself, a small group of very very close friends and family said goodbye to my mother for the last time. Although she has left us physically, her strength, love, enthusiasm for life, humor surrounds us today. I would like to share with you my eulogy as I hope it will give some closure and support to those who were unable to attend the funeral.
Ohm Namah Shivay
My dear dear family and friends,
I do not know how to talk about my mother without sharing with you one of the many anecdotes she has left us with.
I came home one weekend during my freshman year of college to find the house overflowing with branches and stumps of, what I would later find out, was cedar wood! Apparently an aunty in the community had her cedar tree cut and my mother was so excited she grabbed our next door neighbor, Gunther, and brough the whole tree into our house. "Cedar wood smells sooo good, shaylee" she said to me in that voice of her, full of incredible enthusiasm. Ofcourse, she wouldn't have stopped there; Mom never stopped talking in just one sentence. She listed a whole bunch of reasons why she needed the entire tree in our house. In the coming months, she made coasters, kept chips of cedar wood in her saris and in my cloths. For years, not months, I would bring back laundry from home to find random pieces of wood in my cloths. Mom found joy in the simplest things. (Laughter)
My mother, Rajeshwari Rajnikant Dave, had an incredible enthusiasm for life. Mom's cheerful, loving nature always embraced all that is good in this world, overshadowing anything negative. Mom was/is/and always will be an amazing wife and mother. Dad and her were really one of a kind. Talking at the same time about the same thing in different words and trying to over-talk the other one. Did I say that fast enough? My parents and I had some great family vacations. They always involved stopped at every body of water that came on the road so mom could put her feet in it and taking 3 hour stops for Dad's photography. She was also an amazing sister to her 5 brothers and 2 sisters. She had a very special way of bringing my families together. I'm sure most of you know that I have three sides of family.
If you've ever heard me talk to my mom, you'd know she is my best friend. I talked to her about everything and asked her for advice on anything. Not only was she my friend but she was a friend to my friends too. She made certain that every one of them was fed when they visited. Mummy really had a way of making good friends. As are all gathered here today and I have the opportunity to address you together, I know my mother would want me to tell you that she had an incredible amount of love and respect for each and every one of you.
There is a very special way that my parents and I dealt with the bad times life threw us, we laughed and laughed. We would find a reason to laugh about the silliest things. The day before her surgery the three of us were sitting at breakfast and there was mom, giggling uncontrollably about something incredibly silly. I can't remember what we giggled about but the laughter helped ease the load and the mounting pressure we were all feeling. Today, as you say goodbye to your friend, sister, aunty, I want you to know that she fought very hard to try to be with us physically. And although the outcome wasn't how we wished it would be, she will always be with us. Recently she used to compare our family to a ship. Mom was going to get through these rough times because the ship that is my family had to stay afloat. Vahan Dubadvanu Nathi, she would say in gujarati which means we're not going to let the ship sink. Mom made it through her first open heart surgery and went on to spend 17 wonderful years with Dad and I to make sure that the ship that is my family will not sink. It is because of her strength and her love that I am able to stand here today. Mummy's love, her spirit, her personality will be immortal in our hearts and will that we will find the strength to laugh and to live.

Dear Friends and Family,
Regretably I have to inform everyone that mom passed away yesterday around 5:25 pm April 7, 2006. This has come suddenly and as a shock for everyone. Around 1 o'clock her health drastically declined and became unstable due to a complication regarding her surgery. She was put on life support, and Dad and I were with her the whole way. She passed peacefully and she looks like she is resting. She worked really hard, and was strong throughout, and now she is at rest. She was loved by everyone and will be missed dearly. Please keep us in your prayers, and pray that mom will be at peace.
-Shaylee

Hi everyone,
No change since yesterday in Mom's status. Today they gave her a machine that helps her breath a little better. She is still breathing on her own but this machine just helps her. It is similar to the one my Dad uses for his sleep apnea. Her liver and pancreas are pretty much the same and doctors are still working real hard to figure things out. Her spirits are still high. Dad's cousin stayed with him most of today and they had a nice time together. Dad is doing well. I will go home tomorrow and spend the weekend with him. One of my other cousins is going to come spend some time with Dad and help out. So, all I have to say is sit tight and keep praying/sending positive vibrations!!! :o)
lots of love,
shaylee

Wednesday, March 6th

I don't have much to report today. Mom was a little more calm today and has been able to rest. The doctors have not been able to make a diagnosis with her liver and her pancreas. They are really trying their best and involving some of the best doctors in the field to figure out how to fix the situation. Her heart and lungs are recoverying properly. Ofcourse, we have the continous support of all the community members and family members. Dad is doing fine and was able to relax a little today as one of his cousins came to spend the day with him. At this point all we can do is be thankful for the fact that Mom has a wonderful team of doctors working on her and trying to help her. And, pray that they find a solution and that everyone keeps fighting: the doctors, Mom, and all of us.

Tuesday, April 4th

Hi,
I spoke to Mom's night nurse and he said that she is resting properly now. Mom an interesting day. She was a little anxious about medications and random stuff in the afternoon and got a little tired. Her doctors say that her heart and lungs are recoverying well. But they are still trying to figure out how the problem with her liver and pancreas happened and so are unable to properly address its treatment. The doctors are all wonderful; they have recruited the best in the field and I am confident they will figure something out soon. Mom was a little restless in the ICU today but it's hard to make her comfortable as she doesn't like watching TV or listening to music when she is sick. She is unable to go outside or be moved to a window (the ICU doesn't have windows) right now. We just all have to be patient--whoever coined the word patient was very wise! Patients have to have so much patience. (I know that was a lame joke). Sheila aunty and Dad visited her at night until she kicked them out as she wanted to rest.
So all in all a little rocky day for mom as her liver/pancreas isnt doing well and she got a bit anxious. But she knows everyone loves her and is praying for her and that she has to be patient. Therefore, I know she's doing all she can to keep herself calm and rest as much as possible. Keep up the great prayers/thoughts! :o)

Hi!
I'm back at school so I'm just posting what I've heard about Mom from my Dad and Pooja (family friend). Mom was a little short of breath today but they were able to help a little by trying to reduce the amount of fluid buildup in her body. Dad and Pratap kaka went to see her this morning and afternoon. Pratap kaka left today after giving us an amazing amount of support and positive vibrations for 10 days. He's going to be sending Mom positive vibrations from back home now. Dad is doing fine. He spent the rest of the day doing his routine and went to see Mom in the evening. Mom was able to sit in the chair for some time today which is good for her lungs. Sheila aunty visited her at some point. Mom has been pretty good about using her breathing toys. She learned how to use them correctly today too. Jyoti Aunty and Pooja went and visited mom in the evening and rubbed her head for her. All in all, a fair day for Mom.
lots of love,
shaylee

April 2nd, Sunday

Hi,
Happy Spring Forward everyone. Those of us living in America have had the pleasure of loosing one hour of sleep today. I woke up this morning and was almost proud of myself to have woken up at 7:00 but was dissapointed to find out that it was actually 8:00. We rushed to get ready and made it to the hospital in time to see mom at 9:00. Mom was awake and we did the traditional holding of hands, head massages, etc. Pratap kaka sent some good positive vibrations to mom through out the day through his meditation practices. Today was a long day for mom. They finally put the feeding tube in through the nose and started feeding her sometime this afternoon. She now is is getting some food into her system while giving her pancreas and liver a rest. Let's see how this works to help her problems with her pancreas and liver. Her spirits were still high which is always a good sign. I visited her before leaving to come back to the university and she was resting. Mom had a restful Sunday as she slept most of the day. Her nurse was able to get her to sit in the chair for only a half an hour today. She is continuing her breathing exercises and trying to keep her lungs clear of fluid. So all in all, today was a tiring/restful day for mom.

Saturday, April 1st

Hi!
Mom was a little tired today as she had to go get some tests done. I think she was able to get out of her little corner in the ICU and travel down the corridors of the hospital today. She has been able to rest in the ICU despite the constant noises, people walking around and lights. I imagine it's really hard to sleep for a significant stretch of time. Dad, Pratap kaka and I found her asleep this morning when we went to visit and managed to not wake her. When I went to visit in the afternoon she was sitting in a chair. She was pretty exhausted from her excursion to the place were they did some tests for her pancreas problem. I rubbed her head and talked to her a little while she listened quietly. In the evening Dad, Pratap Kaka and I were able to go see her again. She was lying back in bed and had all of us do some kind of service to her: rub her head, her feet or hold her hand. She says she's got to take advantage of us being there. :o) She then proceeded to tell Dad and Pratap Uncle not to come in the evening and then turned to me and said that "Tare beeju su kaam che, tu raat na avje." ;o) I sat with mom tonight and I sang a few prayers and she listened. I met her wonderful nurses and friends that she has made while she has been in the ICU. She has been doing her breathing exercises regularly which is really good. Hopefully with God's grace and everyone's prayers, her recovery will continue in this path. :o)
shaylee